What kind of future have I been left. I had plans you know. Finish my PhD. Do a post-doc in Germany or the Netherlands. Come back. Teach. Live and learn. Not too fussed about research but want the security of an academic position.
Now what? Is my nationality toxic? Am I British for Britain? I don't like that type of exclusivity. I live on a planet not an island.
Everything I ever learned seems to be a lie these days. Equal rights, equal opportunities, equal pay, equal representation? No. Take the common factor away. Replace with exclusive. That's better. Sod intellect, meritocracy or freedom. Replace with pathos, aristocracy and oppression. Oppression of who? The oppressors of course. Isn't that a contradiction? Seemingly. But natural if one believes in true doublethink.
Was my education so far removed, so distant? Am I perched on my ivory tower? Unable to connect with the common man. This certainly supports my disconnect with reality. I believe in logic. Is logic even real or is it just pathos masquerading as civility? Difficult to conclude there. Certainly logic is self supporting and circular.
Does anything truly matter? Is matter even real? What even do I mean by matter.